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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Learning the books of the Bible

     Here's an potentially embarrassing question: have YOU memorized the names of all the books in the Bible? I can hear your reply: "Oh noes, iz too hard! I cants memwize dat, dere's waaay too much! I'm like an iPad, I don't have expandable memory." Well, your days of paltry and frivolous excuses are over. Today, you will memorize the names of the 66 books of the Bible. Right now, immediately, at this exact moment in the flow of time, go to http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=the+books+of+the+bible&page=&utm_source=opensearch and use one or more of these videos to help you learn the books. If you already have some sort of book or something that is supposed to teach you the same thing but you've left it up on some dirty shelf because you were too lazy to learn it...take it down and learn it. I command you to do this in the name of Julius Seizure himself. 
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     Why are you still reading this? You disobeyed orders from Julius Seizure himself! Go forth and study those books or videos or sources of educational information. "Why should I learn the books of the Bible?" you ask. It's not like you're going to go to Hell if you don't learn them. It's just that honestly, a lot, if not most, of the Christians I know don't know their Bible. If you tell them to open their Bibles to a certain verse, they're like, "Huh? What book is that? I've never heard of it. Esther? Who's Esther? And why does she need a Job??" Then of course, once they figure out that it's a book, they go to the content page of their Bible and have to search for page numbers...it's just kinda frustrating. The least a Christian could do is to know their Bible, the Word of God! Obviously, I'm not going to condemn you for not knowing them. But think about what non-Christians will think when they see a Christian unable to find a book of the Bible. They'll be like, "Hey, I thought Christians say the Bible is their, like, Holy Book or something? Then why do they act as if they've never even read it? Maybe it's not so important after all...." See what I mean? So do me a favor, learn the books of the Bible, if you haven't already, and try, just try, to read them all.

After you've done all that, take a look at this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8mk4v6yoLs

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